shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
