# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
