Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
