So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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