enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
sarcasm needs its own font
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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