I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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