you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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