I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
