i need an iv and a liver transplant
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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