i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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