I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
