I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
