so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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