singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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