So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize