i need an iv and a liver transplant
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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