spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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