WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
