we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
