he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
