fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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