wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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