the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize