he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he fucked my hip out of place.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am naked and annoyed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
