WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
