Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
