So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
