HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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