Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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