i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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