Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
