matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
