They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
porn star boner night. come get it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
