I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
