I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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