If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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