Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
