we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
