When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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