your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
