I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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