She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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