We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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