I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
