Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
