She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
