She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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