My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
dude. I can hear the air.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize