will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize