I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
