did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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