When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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