So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
