She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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