so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
