i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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