I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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