I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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