If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
