God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
