Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
