farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
