I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
